Victory for Valiant Valornians

Multiple Raids Defeated by Fearless Adventurers

In recent weeks, Balthazar's army laid numerous failed siege attempts against a multitude of Valornian Towns. Amongst the targets were Dundee, Milltown, and Caernivale.

From the desert, a great wave of Demons assaulted the peaceful villages of Valorn lead by their outspoken General Altimos. In response to the on coming hordes of Demon Foot soldiers, Centurions, Officers and their Greater brethren, bands of adventurers formed to battle evil's tide.

Lord Orion the Sly, Lord Islander, Lord Dragon Lancer the Powerful, Lord Demon Hunter, Cerberus, Borsk, Levanfirestorm, Zarina, Vertigo, El Sinister, Darilyn, and Faithless were among the groups of able-bodied adventurers that aided in the defense of these humble cities from the Demon Army.

While one would be foolish to call these raids no more vicious than petty bar-room squabbles, they were far from the caliber one would expect from the Dark Lord. One even might wonder if they were a diversion to allow some event of greater importance to occur. T'yandra the Holy did postulate the raids were some form of effort made to aid in freeing Balthazar from the Ryndall Enchanter's imprisonment.

~ Cerberus

Demon Army on Strike?!

The much heralded Demon Invasions turned into a damp squib. A group of plucky adventurers vainly searched for the mythical Demon attack north of Milltown.

Rumors quickly spread that the Demon Army was in fact on strike. Union dispute with Balthazar over pay, rations, and opportunities to be really really evil are believed to be at the top of the Demon Army's complaint list.

The strike-struck Demon General Altimos turned up in effete evening wear and was very rude to passers by. One Borsk of Dundee, known for the garrulousness of his greetings was told, "Puny mortal, do not bother me with your weakling comments. I will rip out your entrails and feed them to my troops...." One wonders if such diets may also be cause for Demon Strike.

The obviously dismayed and delusional General went on to say, "Shut your trap before I rip your jaw from its joints...."

He also spoke of commanding a Great Army, seemingly non-existent for some time. Eventually, he did manage to lead a few Foot soldiers and an officer to "raid" Milltown's north gate.

Borsk managed to earn himself some easy Demon hides, before the General ran off bitter and most likely in tears at his defeat.

~ The Third Ear & Cerberus

Up a Tree Without a Torch

Kazik, "I'll never die, I'd rather run away," the adventurer was last reported stuck in the Hollow Tree having wandered in without a torch.

Intrepid rescuers Reyco, Nyima, and Zarina mounted a valiant excursion into said tree in hopes of removing the stranded Kazik but returned empty handed hearing only the occasional thuds, bangs, and cries of "who left that bloody bucket of water there."

If you find Kazik in the Hollow Tree, please give him a torch. Huge reward on offer, probably. Last known words of Kazik, "...help, I can't see anything...."

~ The Third Ear

Necrophiliac's Delight

A recent popularity poll conducted by the Infested Dungeon Zombie Association ( IDZA ) declared lady adventurer Faithless a landslide victor.

One anonymous zombie was heard to say, "She can hack off my head anytime."

Faithless was unavailable for comment but was recently seen sharpening her rather Fine Rapier.

~ The Third Ear

Town Crier Cleared Of Insanity

Town Crier is no longer held responsible for wild goose chase invasion calls, though he still has been heard roaring like a lion on occasion.

~ The Third Ear